I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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