he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
