He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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