Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize