Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I want to fling myself into the sun
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
