omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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