Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
look no pants
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
