who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
