fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
