The maid of honor just puked.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
