And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize