Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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