Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
