i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I need to align my fucking chakras
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
