youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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