So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
