I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i've created a new STD.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
