My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dear god my vagina.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
