It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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