one might say we're banned from that church
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
