I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
