so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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