I cockslap morals
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
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