I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
