is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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