Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
