Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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