So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
