I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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