Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
ok first of all what the fuck
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
