when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
