so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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