so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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