so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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