Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
