why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
