For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You made out with two different species that night
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
