I will die if light touches me.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
