It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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