I'm so fucking centered right now
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
