One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
