I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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