I saw his package. It spoke to me.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
