i was born a porn star she said
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize
