So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
