I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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