didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
