just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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