Rock
Scissors
Fuck
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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