There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
How external is "for external use only"?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
