It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize