Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
