And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
