Nicole vs. Life
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
