ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
