What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize