I want to make a zoo with you.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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