You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
