# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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