i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
