going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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