I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize