How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
