If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
3pm strippers are depressing
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
