this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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